God has a plan for everyone. He knows exactly what he’s doing and where everyone is going. He “pulls strings” to teach lessons. Each string affects a different person in a different way. I hope this isn’t one of my temporary realizations and I actually do make the effort to change my procrastinating ways.
I found out this morning that a girl I used to work with passed away yesterday afternoon. It was such a shocker to hear, even though I knew she was sick. I was supposed to see her, but because of a stupid fear I have of awkward social situations I put other plans in front of her. Yes, I was busy that night, but if I really wanted to go I could have made the time. The only free day I had to go I blew off, then I went out of town for a week. I kept reading that she was getting better, but I guess she wasn’t. I got back Friday night and had work the Saturday morning. With 3 days off from work this week I was going to use one of them to see her, on my own without anyone else. Like I said, I hate awkward social situations. The people I was going to go with were a little less than acquaintances. Now it’s too late. I didn’t get to see her and I’m upset about it. She was such a good hearted person, and many people may ask “Why her?”, while some may be angry about it, I’m taking it as a life lesson. We truly don’t know how much time we have left on earth. Anything can happen at any moment, and I take everyday that I wake up for granted.
I’m not happy with my job. A year ago I went to school so I could get out of place of work. I received my diploma 9 months ago and I’m still working at the same place. I haven’t been practicing skill, I haven’t really been working on my portfolio and I keep putting things off. Worse of all, I’ve neglected God for many years. The way I’ve carried myself the past few years, I should be ashamed of myself. I felt useless and I acted that way by doing nothing. I felt like my presence was for nothing. Not enough to kill myself, I’m not depressed. I still care, I still eat, I don’t have trouble getting up in the morning. I’ve just been ashamed from doing nothing and did nothing about it. Now I’m nowhere and feel like I’ve accomplished nothing. I can’t and shouldn’t waste anymore time. I have to do something with my life. I can’t keep talking about it anymore, I must do it and be confident in doing it. God is on my side, he’s always been, and I have to trust him to help me and guide me to do the right thing.
My heart and prayers go out to my friends family and loved ones. It’s so sad to see people go so young, but I think it’s seeing that that helps us realize that anything can happen at any moment. Don’t take life for granted and don’t wait around for things to happen. If you want something done, do it, go for it, because chances are, it won’t happen otherwise.