Now what?

I used to be a full time worker. Since I finished school about 9 months ago, I was supposed to be looking for a new job. I hate interviews. I’ve actually managed to slack off for 9 months. I also have this weird habit (not a good one) of not completing things. I’ve finished my portfolio. It’s the most awkward feeling ever, because that means I actually have to look for work. Problem? Yeah. I don’t know where to start. One of my skills is keeping a job. Lack of a skill, getting a job. I’ve worked 5 jobs in my whole life. Only two of them I got on my own, and one of them (sad to say) was because I was pretty. I faked that interview so bad. I hope I can do it again.

Now here’s where my problem lies. I’ve done college, I’ve done an intensive course in University. 10 classes, 3 months, got all A’s and my diploma. So I am capable. So why do I keep thinking I’m not good enough? It’s sort of frustrating, and I’ve been in a sour/sad mood since I finished my portfolio today. Sent my resume out to one place that isn’t looking for people and isn’t guaranteed to contact me. Maybe if I write down actual goals for myself things will happen, because nothing will happen if I do nothing. Which is what I’ve been doing…. for 9 months. 

“Lord, I pray that you give me the strength and courage to get through this. I need to do better for myself, and with my boss knocking off some of my hours it’s only getting worse. With you Lord anything is possible, and I pray that my faith strengthens to believe this. I must let go of all fear and put all my trust in you. You will never put something on me that I can’t handle.


I’m so lonely. This has nothing to do with anything. But it’s amazing how a persons mood can change without having contact from certain people in one day. I haven’t been to work in 3 days, and I’ve got another day home. I’m going to bed soon so I can actually get an earlier start on my day tomorrow. Take in some sun and prepare myself for 2 whole days of work….



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