You ever get that feeling when you want to cry, but there’s another emotion involved with however you’re feeling and that tear just won’t come out?

I don’t know what love is, I don’t know if I want to know. I take things too literal and I’m emotionally messed up enough as it is. Talking to him at times sends me bouncing off walls. We were just one the phone. Well, I just hung up. I don’t understand the point of calling people to not say anything. I don’t like it. I already don’t like talking on the phone, but I’m actually comfortable enough to talk to you and you waste my time by not saying anything at all. I tell you I want to get off the phone and  suddenly think I hate you. You’re like a 12 year old girl. I do hope you don’t talk like this with anyone else because it’s not normal. You insult me endlessly. You actually just called me a child. I got mad. But I wasn’t about to hang up on you. I wouldn’t dare want to show a bully that he’s won. That he’s pushed my buttons. So we say nothing. For 30 minutes. After getting annoyed by hearing you text various people when you can easily just hang up the phone and call them instead of hearing me breath, I start pressing random buttons to get some sort of reaction from you. I get nothing. So I hang up the phone. A part of me wishes you’d call back, while another part knows you’re not going to call back. Or knowing you, you probably didn’t even notice I hung up.

You tell me you like me then instantly take it back. I’m still positive you do, I’m also positive you’re still a teenage boy in that head of yours. Grow up. And don’t even think I’m going to call you back because I’m not. I just wish it wasn’t so hard for me to meet and talk to new people. I’d move on with my life and stop pinning over a boy.



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