It’s ironic how whenever you check the last post of a blog that hasn’t posted for months/years, their final post is usually something along the lines of,

“I know I haven’t posted anything in a while, but I promise I’ll start posting more often”.

The same rule goes for Twitter and some Youtube users. I wonder why that is? I’m pretty sure I made the same promise a while back. But I sort of have an excuse. I haven’t been doing anything. I didn’t think it was possible, but my life is more pathetic than it was before. I want to look for a job, but on the other hand, I’m supposed to find something in which I’ll be able to work from home or on weekends. Where I live now, people have ambition, so the only people doing retail are teenagers. I’m too old to be working with teenagers. And the chances of me making friends working with teenagers are quite slim. It’s just weird, everyday it the same thing, and all I can do is look at other peoples mistakes and keep telling myself, “When you’re on your own, this is how you’ll do this, this, and this”.

But the problem is, I really don’t have ambition, or drive. I’m not 100% sure what I want but I do know that my current situation isn’t cool. I love my nephew, but when I quite my job, for some reason it never really crossed my mind that I’d literally be watching him all day. Plus my brother in law is also home all day so it’s just awkward most of the time. Neither of us are sociable people and I feel more at home when I’m by myself.

What I need to start doing is actually set up my account on Elance and stop talking about it. I keep telling people I’m looking into it, but truth is, I just can’t commit. I’m scared of being rejected so I just don’t bother.

I moved to fix my problems and all I did was bring my problems with me. I’m still lonely, but the main difference is that it’s now in a house full of people.



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