Forever Misunderstood

My sister thinks I’m crazy. I think she lacks understanding. Maybe I do need to go to a therapist or something and get properly diagnosed because I know I’m not like “normal” people.

My sister and I are currently going at it because she touches, takes, uses and moves my stuff without my permission. She’s been doing this from when I was a kid. I remember she used to hide my school shoes from me so she could wear them and I’d be stuck wearing the shoes that were supposed to be replaced. It drives me nuts. Every time I complain about it though she tells me to get over it. Unfortunately for her it’s not that simple for me to do. There’s this toothpaste I always use. I buy it for me. Same brand, for whitening. I hate using another toothpaste and whenever I travel, even though wherever I go, toothpaste will be provided, I always bring it with me. I’ve tried using another one but I just don’t can’t. If you come over and don’t have toothpaste, use it. I don’t care, but make sure you push it up from bottom because there’s nothing I hate more than a dent in the middle of the toothpaste. If you love me, I don’t see these as difficult tasks to comply by. If you had any weird hang ups like that I would make an effort to please you as long as it doesn’t interfere with mine.

My sister took my toothpaste and just put it in her room. She didn’t ask, she just took. I have another one, but that’s not the point. You did not ask, you just took. If you nicely explained to me “Hey, we don’t have anymore toothpaste, can you take yours?” Sure, go ahead. My sister has this habit of borrowing my stuff constantly. She doesn’t shop. What I usually do, is buy a replacement and start using the replacement. That’s how much I don’t like people borrowing or taking my stuff.

I know this whole post sounds stupid. I’m irritated about toothpaste, but something is wrong with me and I’m too poor too figure out what it is. I googled I hate when people touch my stuff, and two boards I came on was one on Social Anxiety and one on Autism. I’ve looked up Aspergers many times in the past and I’m partly convinced that I have it but I will never know for sure. Also, I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure social anxiety is a symptom of autism/aspergers. I wouldn’t call myself a genius though, then again, I would never call myself an idiot either. I have no friends and no one to talk to about this stuff. I want friends, but I can’t tal to people .I sort of have/had one friend but people get tired of hearing you complain about the same stuff over and over again. Hence this blog. All I have is my sister and she always thinks she’s right and never puts my feelings into consideration because the things I care about are “stupid”. I don’t really see that as fair, but I’ve put up with it for so long because I’d rather have her than no one at all.

I want to cry today.
Anonymous

no proof reading on this one.

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3 Comments

  1. Hey,

    Cry if you need to girl..I was diagnosed last year with Aspergers & know how you feel. I hate my things being moved. I am an only child but my mum insists on clearing stuff around my room leaving me frustrated and angry. She never used to understand why I would go crazy about it but now she knows not to touch.

    If you want to talk about this I don’t mind? Sometimes you just need someone to share your experiences with. If you want to swap emails or just comment let me know 🙂

    Maria

    • It’s nice to know someone out there understands me. Sometimes even I think I’m crazy when truth is, I’m just different. Hopefully one day I’ll be diagnosed, with something. I know that sounds like a weird thing to say but there has to be some sort of explanation to why I am the way I am.

      I would love to have someone to talk to. Is there a way we can write each other privately on wordpress?

      • I used to be the same..I always used to want answers to why I was the way I am.
        I needed the diagnosis to just as some sort of relief. It does help but also seems to be making my life feel hard.
        I’m not entirely sure, not that I know of? I’ve only ever commented on here. If you want to talk I don’t mind..

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