I think I’ve finally noticed myself “turn on”

I’m just going to get straight to the point. Saturday night we had some people over to watch the Boxing match. Mayweather vs. Canelo. I’m not a huge boxing fan and before we had even ordered it (pay per view) I had mentioned to my sister, “I’ll just hang out upstairs because I really don’t care to see it.” Especially if people are coming over. I like to steer clear from people, especially people I’ve never met before. After having a brief discussion with my sister, she mentioned how it would have been a little rude for me to just isolate myself and stay upstairs, so i decided to stay. Turned out to be 3 people that came over and one of them I already knew. I said “Hello” to everyone and changed the channel on the TV (the fight hadn’t started yet). I was watching Friends With Benefits, but considering they were now a bunch of men in the house, I did the nice thing and changed the channel to watch Unknown, which we never ended up finishing.

Finally getting to the point, while watching the movie one of the guys proceeded to converse with me. This was following two separate times I ran upstairs within the span of 5 minutes just to be by myself, or to gain composure. Whenever I feel uncomfortable in a group of people, I either shut down, or go away. This wasn’t the time to shut down. So one of the guys began to converse with me, and as usual I answered questions without posing any questions. It’s not that I have no interest, it’s just that it doesn’t cross my mind, at all. I’m not selfish and I’m not inconsiderate, a lot of people sometimes think otherwise, and thinking about it now, the last date I went on (years ago) the guy probably thought I wasn’t interested when he decided not to contact me ever again. Even if I did remember to ask questions, I wouldn’t know what to ask.

Well, me and this guy exchanged a few words, the other guy didn’t say one word and as odd as that was for me, I won’t judge him for it. Not my place, plus, had the other guy not spoken to me, I wouldn’t have been speaking either. I didn’t get either of their names either. I’m horrible with names, I didn’t ask even thought I’m sure he probably told me. If I’m not fully paying attention (most of the time) I didn’t hear what you said. This is going to be and odd entry for me because I’m not sure how to end it, but all I wanted to say was that as a person with obvious social issues, I’ve finally noticed when I switch and become that other person. Which is rare, very rare. Actually has me thinking now that it had to do with the guy as a person and less to do with the control I have over my social skills. I don’t even get that comfortable with my brother-in-law.

(No proofreading done, so I apologize for the grammatical errors)


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