Recaps and Updates

So I quit my new job today. It was at a call centre doing sales. I wanted to challenge myself when I took this job on, but I quit before I even tried and I’m actually quite disappointed in myself. I think I just managed to psych myself out days before actually having to go on the phone, and as the day got closer, I just quit before I even tried. I’m sure I would have done well too. Training was a breeze for me. I retained a lot of the information and I’m sure, had I actually gotten on the phone, I would have been fine after the first week. It would have taken time to get used to, but I didn’t even try. The guy I was shadowing today (before I quit) was so good, and so fast, I just got really overwhelmed and lost any bit of confidence I thought I had to do the job. It also sucks, because I met some really nice people there that I will probably never see again. I NEED FRIENDS.

Now, no worries, because I have another job. So I’m not unemployed again (thankfully), but I am starting over. I’m sure I’ll be fine with that one because it’s something that I’ve done before. So I’m not worried. I just really wished I got the other job I had interviewed for last week. They didn’t call me back, but the title for that position would have looked so awesome on my resume. But it wasn’t meant to be. And that’s okay.

I will continue looking for work as of tomorrow. I really need to find something that I’ll truly be happy with. I was telling my sister earlier that I think I was meant to work for myself. The main problem with that, is that I have no friends and I suck at networking. Even if I were to work for myself. Last month, I got a volunteer position to work with this organization. I’m glad I didn’t give them any serious personal information, because after I got the position, I didn’t hear back from them. It’s been over a month. Knowing me and my possible dyslexia, I probably misread the email and didn’t get back to them when I was supposed to. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve read things and was convinced it said one thing, until I was about to reply and read it again for the 10th time, finally realizing what it actually says. I will recheck that email tomorrow. It’s late. Working 9-5, I don’t know how people do it. I’m so drained when I get home that I don’t feel like doing anything. Then by the time I’ve recharged, it’s time for bed and it’s time to do it all over again. I used to complain about inconstant work schedules, but now I love them.

What else have I been up to? Other than being sleep deprived, and struggling to keep up with tv shows, while not really paying attention because I’m on online, I’ve committed to trying to read a little more. Still no books, but some really good fan fiction written by fans. It’s honestly the best alternative for people who just can’t afford to buy a good at the moment. AUs and fantasies about your fav tv characters, impatiently waiting for the next chapter/update. It’s like watching tv but you’re reading it and painting pictures in your mind with the words. I love it. I think the reason why I’ve always hated reading and writing before, is because I was being forced to in school, and if I don’t have an interest for something, I’m not capable of putting my everything towards it, unless I really have to.

Not sure how I got here, but I’m out. I’ve been up for 13 hrs, my eyes are red and it’s time for bed. I’ll probably watch community first though.

ReNn

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2 Comments

  1. Wow, I’m impressed you keep going, – looking for jobs, – not letting dyslexia pull you back. You will find your job – its out there somewhere, but you will have to keep trying …. promise me you will work harder on being kinder to yourself and not let that unhelpful self talk stop you from , getting where you want to be. Nothing is easy, nothing a breeze, and sometimes we have to feel out of our depth to learn and to get better. That guy who was ‘good’ on the phone, who you unconsciously and selectively let discourage you from trying, had probably had plenty of practice and had been given the task to demonstrate and teach you a good and best technique. If you were running a business and wanted to achieve higher sales figures you would have done the same. It would not have made sense to pair you up with a ‘weak’ player as you would only copy their weaker habits. You have regrets, you have thoughts use them to learn all there is to learn to help you get closer to your goal. All the very best and good luck.

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